Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone shared her struggle with depression through a powerful video that the actress posted on her official Facebook handle on Wednesday, October 10, in honour of World Mental Health Day. In the video that she posted on her account, Padukone discussed being diagnosed with clinical depression and the need to destigmatise the mental illness.
In the video, Padukone said, "I think what was tough was not being able to talk to anyone because I don't think anyone understood what I was experiencing. So, if I'd say 'I'm not feeling..' and I didn't know myself initially how to describe it. I'm just..all of these terms of...And I knew what I was feeling but I don't think I was able to communicate entirely what I was feeling. Like I knew I had this pittish feeling in my stomach, I knew that I'd be scared to wake up. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to always, you know. I found comfort in sleep because I felt like that was my escape. Waking up was a struggle. I didn't enjoy. And in fact, I think that is something I'm still scared of. I don't like the sound of an alarm. I think waking up was tough because I didn't want to face a day."
She further added, "Every day I had to wake up because I had to wake up, do something. I didn't enjoy that feeling of waking up to an alarm and then going to work. I think I had to do it. I was working every day and there were days when, I mean, of course, I think every day was a challenge to sort of understanding. I didn't know how the day was going to pan out for me. I didn't know if...I think I'd be extremely conscious of being surrounded by people because if I needed to break down, I didn't know where I could do that. and so I think I was always conscious of where I was going to be, although that was not in my control because I think in my profession, you know, I'm expected to be at different places, at different times and no two days are the same. There's no pattern to any day. So I think there was always that fear of wondering where I'm going to be, what if I have that feeling of low, what if I need to break down. And not knowing where to sort of have that moment to myself. And I was also, I think conscious of people seeing it on my face."
Talking about dealing with depression, the 'Bajirao Mastani' actress said, "It was a lot of effort, I think to show like everything was okay because it was not. And I think to keep smiling or to keep giving energy to people around me to kind of overcompensate to show that everything was okay or that I was feeling okay, I think was extremely exhausting."
Deepika further added, "Before it happened, in the time that I was suffering or struggling, I wish that I had come across that one person who said 'I think I know what it is.' And it probably would have made the whole process much much easier. So I felt like if I then shared my story with people, it would probably help a lot of people who till today are not aware of what... They know they're not feeling their best or not feeling correct or feeling low or feeling unwell, whatever you want to call it. But I think it was important for me to break that down say one second 'Are you experiencing what I'm experiencing because this is what I went through'. I think that's what I wanted because like I said, the minute I understood the term depression, it just made it so much easier to deal with."
Deepika Padukone has been open about her battle with depression and in a video that she posted on Instagram on Wednesday, October 10, she urged fans to put up a video sharing the story of their battles with depression. The actress who was last seen in Sanjay Leela Bhansali's magnum opus, 'Padmaavat' captioned her post on Instagram as "90% of India’s population is unaware of what they’re experiencing mentally & emotionally.There are others who refuse to seek help due to the stigma attached to mental illnesses.In 2014,i shared my story.Today I urge you to share yours too using the hashtag #NotAshamed @tlllfoundation".
Here's her post:
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