‘If You Won’t Marry Me, I’ll Be a Priest’: The Childhood Rejection at 12 That Made Pope Francis

Vatican City: Pope Francis, history’s first Latin American pontiff who charmed millions with his humility, fierce advocacy for the poor, and bold calls for Church reform, died Monday at the age of 88. His death marks the end of a papacy that redefined the Catholic Church’s voice in the modern world—one that arguably began with a childhood heartbreak in Buenos Aires.

Bells tolled across Rome as Cardinal Kevin Farrell, the Vatican camerlengo, made the announcement from the chapel of the Domus Santa Marta, the modest guesthouse Francis chose over the Apostolic Palace.

“At 7:35 this morning, the Bishop of Rome, Francis, returned to the home of the Father. His entire life was dedicated to the service of the Lord and of his Church,” Farrell said, his voice reverberating through the quiet solemnity of Vatican City.

Francis had been battling chronic lung disease for years and was admitted to Gemelli Hospital on February 14, 2025, with a respiratory crisis that developed into double pneumonia. He spent 38 days there—his longest hospital stay since ascending to the papacy in 2013.

Yet perhaps the most extraordinary aspect of his journey was where it began.

A Letter, a Rejection, a Destiny

Long before white robes and Vatican reforms, Jorge Mario Bergoglio was a 12-year-old Argentine boy with a crush.

He wrote a note to his classmate, Amalia Damonte, proposing marriage. “If you won’t marry me,” he warned with the drama only a preteen could muster, “I’ll become a priest.”

She said no as her parents did everything in their power to keep them apart.

he married, started a family, and only returned to her parents' home years later. 

That rejection, as trivial as it may have seemed at the time, turned into a defining moment. It led the young Bergoglio to turn inward, towards God—and eventually toward a life of religious devotion that would see him become one of the most transformational and controversial popes in history.

“He told me very seriously that if I didn’t say yes, he would have no choice but to give his life to God,” Amalia, now in her 80s, said in a 2014 interview. “And that’s exactly what he did.”

A Revolutionary Papacy

That same intensity of spirit would define his leadership. As pope, Francis frequently broke with tradition—eschewing the papal palace, washing the feet of prisoners and refugees, and speaking out passionately on climate change, social inequality, and the dangers of unregulated capitalism.

He was also a doctrinal disruptor. Francis opened doors for greater inclusion of divorced and remarried Catholics, softened the Church’s stance on LGBTQ+ individuals, and questioned the inflexibility of centuries-old teachings. These moves won him praise from liberals but sparked backlash from conservative factions within the Church.

“He was fearless in making the Church more human,” said a senior Vatican correspondent. “But in doing so, he divided opinion like no pope before him.”

Legacy of Empathy

Critics accused him of diluting doctrine, of prioritising compassion over clarity. But for Francis, mercy was the ultimate expression of faith.

“He sees Christ in the margins,” a Vatican analyst once said. “And maybe that clarity came from understanding rejection so young—he knows what it means to be vulnerable.”

His vision of a “Church for the poor” and “a field hospital after battle” touched millions. From slums in Argentina to refugee camps in the Middle East, Francis reached beyond walls—spiritual and political.

Even as his health declined, he remained a vocal figure on global issues, championing causes that stretched the traditional role of the papacy.

A Pontiff Like No Other

As the Vatican prepares for a conclave to elect his successor, the world reflects on a papacy that redefined what it means to lead the Church in the 21st century.

Whether remembered as a reformer, a rebel, or a reluctant revolutionary, Pope Francis’ story began not in the hallowed halls of the Vatican but in a simple love letter written by a 12-year-old boy with a broken heart—and a destiny far greater than he could have imagined.