What Is Ghostlighting? Dating Trend That Is Worse Than Ghosting

Just when we thought we had already heard enough Gen Z terms, such as benching, situationship, orbiting, and zombieing, another one has appeared on the list of “toxic dating trends”. The newest term is “ghostlighting”, which people say is even worse than “ghosting”. As relationships grow more complicated, people often use trending terms to describe and label their behaviour.

What is Ghostlighting?

According to USA Today, this toxic dating trend happens when someone suddenly disappears from a relationship (ghosting their partner) after first manipulating the other person by questioning their perceptions, feelings, or version of events. This behaviour is a form of gaslighting, where the toxic partner gradually twists the truth and shifts the blame for their disappearance onto the victim.

For context, the Cleveland Clinic explains that gaslighting is a type of ongoing psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. In this behaviour, a person makes someone doubt their own reality, memories, or sanity to gain control. Common tactics include lying, denying, or minimising events, which can eventually make the victim dependent on the abuser.

Ghosting means suddenly ending a relationship by cutting off all communication with someone, according to the Cambridge Dictionary. In this situation, one partner "vanishes" like a ghost and stops replying to texts, calls, and messages on social media without giving any warning or explanation. This behaviour often leaves the other person feeling confused and hurt. People consider ghosting a passive-aggressive and emotionally painful form of abandonment because it denies the other person any sense of closure. It can happen not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships and even at work.

Basically, Ghostlighting is a toxic mix of "ghosting" and "gaslighting" – it makes victims question themselves, their actions, words, and behaviour, and believe they somehow caused their partner to disappear.

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