Never Put Key of Your Happiness in Someone Else's Pocket: 10 Lessons on Happiness from Pujya Gurudevshri Rakeshji as He Turns 60

Most of us carry a quiet list of things that will finally make us happy: the promotion, the bigger flat, the holiday, the day the family stops arguing. Items get ticked off, new ones appear, and the feeling we were waiting for rarely stays for long. 

That gap between what we chase and what we actually feel is the ground Pujya Gurudevshri Rakeshji keeps returning to in his discourses. The founder of Shrimad Rajchandra Mission Dharampur (SRMD) turns 60 on September 26. As thousands gather in Mumbai for 'Aho Gurudev', the celebration of his birthday, here is a look at the teacher and ten of his lessons on happiness.

The teacher behind the teachings

Born in Mumbai in 1966, Gurudevshri reached spiritual teaching through the classroom. He took an M.A. in Philosophy with a gold medal and then spent years on a doctoral study of Shri Atmasiddhi Shastra, the composition of Shrimad Rajchandraji, the Jain philosopher remembered as Mahatma Gandhi's spiritual guide. His thesis ran past 3,000 pages, and the University of Mumbai awarded him the doctorate in 1998.

His teachings are not confined to any one tradition, and they decode the timeless teachings of the scriptures in a manner that helps people deal with ordinary life: anger at work, friction at home, restlessness that does not go away. He founded SRMD in 1994 and set up its ashram at Dharampur in South Gujarat in 2001. The ashram is now the International Headquarters of a mission with 136 centres across six continents.

The mission's guiding line is to realise one's true self and serve others selflessly. Its humanitarian arm, Shrimad Rajchandra Love and Care, holds Special Consultative Status with the United Nations Economic and Social Council, and the mission says its work has touched over 42 million lives.

Here are his ten lessons on being happy.

1. Happiness isn't out there

We tend to believe the next achievement, purchase or lucky break will finally do it. Gurudevshri's reminder is that the search for lasting happiness only begins when we turn inward. The things outside us may be pleasant, but none of them can do that job for us.

2. Don't hand over your happiness

If your mood depends on how a colleague speaks to you or whether a relative approves, someone else is running your inner life. Gurudevshri puts it memorably: never put the key of your happiness in someone else's pocket.

3. Don't make happiness conditional

We are happy when a wish is fulfilled and unhappy the moment life takes an unexpected turn. That swing never ends, because circumstances never stop changing. The deeper practice, he says, is to work towards staying happy whatever the circumstances.

4. Change the direction of your search

Many people spend decades searching outside themselves for peace. His advice is not to search harder but to search in a different direction: towards the Self, where he says true joy can actually be found.

5. Change your attitude, not everything around you

It is tempting to wait for the boss, the city or the family to change. But very often, he suggests, the change that matters starts with our own attitude and the way we read what is happening to us.

6. Look for virtues, not faults

The mind jumps quickly to what is wrong with another person. Gurudevshri asks us to deliberately look for their good qualities instead, because appreciation and friendliness change how we experience our relationships.

7. Don't confuse comfort with happiness

A comfortable life can remove physical discomfort, but it cannot necessarily remove inner sorrow. The root of lasting happiness, he says, does not grow out of owning more things. A well-furnished home and a restless mind can easily exist together.

8. Discover the power of contentment

As long as we keep chasing the next thing, our happiness depends on what we do not yet have. Contentment breaks that cycle by turning attention inward, instead of constantly asking the world for more.

9. Make happiness a way of life

Happiness does not have to be saved for the rare days when everything goes to plan. His teaching on this is one line: "For Happiness is a Way of Life!"

10. Start where you can

Nobody begins by staying calm through the worst moment of their life. The practical advice is to start where staying happy feels possible, and then gradually practise it in harder situations. Over time, even the moments that once seemed impossible can become a source of inner strength.

Sixty years on

Taken together, the ten lessons point the same way: happiness may not be something to chase, but something to recognise by changing how we see things and looking within.

That is the message the mission is carrying into his 60th year. The celebrations at Mumbai's Jio World Convention Centre on September 25 and 26 are drawing devotees from nearly 23 countries, and saints from several spiritual traditions are expected to attend. The Mission will also announce 60 new spiritual and service initiatives over the two days.