Damian Lillard calls himself 'Emotionally Drained' amidst playing through family tragedies

Damian Lillard is leading the Portland Trail Blazers to another playoff season, all while dealing with countless personal tragedies. In an interview with The Athletic, Lillard spoke about his struggles, revealing how hard it has been to play. Lillard, who will be resting during the All-Star 3-point contest, opened up about being drained emotionally. 

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Damian Lillard family tragedies have plagued his past 18 months

"I thought about (not playing), because mentally I was like … I don’t want to say I didn’t care, because I did care,” Lillard said. "But emotionally, I was like, whatever". Over the past year, Lillard's personal life has been turbulent, filled to the brim with countless deaths of loved ones. The Trail Blazers star has tried to work through all the tragedies, finally revealing how mentally taxing the past few months have been. 

How did Damian Lillard cousin death affect Trail Blazers star?

Last year in May, Lillard was the one to discover his cousin and personal chef Brandon Johnson, dead on the kitchen floor. Lillard recalls the trauma he felt, accepting that it is still a battle he is fighting. “I stood over his body, man. Like, he was dead. Minutes. I’m standing over his body,” Lillard explains, telling everyone no one knows what kind of trauma it is to see someone you care about "laid out". 

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Damian Lillard personal chef was also close to teammate CJ McCollum

His teammate CJ McCollum, also close to 35-year-old Johnson, arrived after Lillard called him. Both cried in the kitchen together, Lillard revealing how hurt he was. "I was with B every day, and in the summers when I would travel to train, he would come and make sure I was eating right," Lillard shared, adding that they spoke every day, which only makes dealing with his harder.

Lillard also lost his aunt to cancer, a family friend to COVID-19. Early this year, a cousin was killed in West Oakland. Just last Thursday, Lillard was also told that two people from his inner circle had been shot. “What really matters in life, you know?” Lillard found himself asking, aware of the mental battle. Yet, Lillard has done his best to play on the court. 

“Not like I’m physically tired, but where I’m emotionally drained,” Lillard said.

For Lillard, the pain his family has been going through has been the worst. “I’m happiest when my family is happy, and when people I love are happy,” Lillard explained, aware of how hard it is for them, giving everything that has happened. He saw his parents get emotional, something which told him how affected people really well. While he dealt with memories of his cousin that passed away, Lillard stood by the responsibilities he has. 

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While his stats might be impressive, he and his family have been struggling. “It’s been a hard year and a half for my family, man,” Lillard said in his interview with The Athletic. "People have no idea". 

We love you @Dame_Lillard ❤️ https://t.co/dSZT3unddA

— Portland Trail Blazers (@trailblazers)

Speaking about his conversation with assistant coach Nate Tibbetts, Lillard revealed how he finds his reason to play on. Lillard, close to Tibbetts, spoke about his son Damian Jr, and how he calls him 'dad' every 30 seconds. He mentioned his twins, knowing how they are there for him. "It helps things a lot when you come home to that". 

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Damian Lillard season stats

Lillard is averaging 29.6 points, 4.3 rebounds and 8.1 assists this season, shooting 44.5% from the field and 38% from the three-point line. Fans have been supportive on social media, sending love and prayers to the Trail Blazers star and his family. Many were impressed with his work ethic and dedication to the game, even though his family was struggling. 

(Image credits: Damian Lillard Instagram)